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In the last post we explored the notion of twin flames and how they differ in definition to the more popularised notion of a soulmate. A soulmate adds to the complexity of the spiritual connections we make and break during our time spent on earth. A soulmate can be further broken down into categories that encompass romantic and platonic connections. Basically, a soul connection is when two people feel they are linked on a soul level in a significant or extraordinary way. It’s the sense that your link transcends the earth plane, a connection that leaves you certain that something much bigger brought you together or is at play. You might feel like you have known each other in a past life or that your souls were destined in another life to meet up again in the present one. Many professionals and practitioners in the spiritual sphere agree that we have many soulmates. We’re all part of a common humanity or spiritual consciousness, and thus we’re actually all linked on a soul level. The notion that everything is connected is a theme that runs central to our existence on earth.

Not to be confused with a life partner, who often is a great supporter and long-time companion, but is limited in his or her capacity to enrich your spirit. In fact, most of us remain in life-partner relationships as we settle into coupledom for a multitude of reasons. Humans as social beings fundamentally have a real fear of being alone, which society and social pressures only perpetuates. It doesn’t help that we’re biologically designed to fall in love (hello hormones), meaning it’s only natural that we find ourselves looking to pair up as our default mode. The downside of settling into a comfortable or mediocre relationship is that we sometimes prolong what was meant to be a temporary relationship and end up settling into it for the long run. There are relationships which need to last for a certain period of time to close out a karmic chapter of our life, relationships in which we’re meant to have children with our partner but not necessarily remain with them, and relationships which are confusing and turbulent because our emotions don’t allow us to follow our predestined path. However, it’s important to remember that none of these relationships are better or worse than the other – they each serve a purpose in our spiritual growth and healing, and contribute to teach us valuable lessons which we can then use in a successful soulmate pairing.

So how can we avoid settling into a relationship that only partially satisfies our soul’s requirements? How do we recognize a soulmate? It’s something internal and innate, describing how a soulmate makes you feel is beyond the capacity of mere words. It’s a profound and lingering emotion which can only be felt. You may experience an odd sense of déjà vu, as you’re reliving moments in time that took place a long time ago but in a different setting. You understand each other without even trying, like the tuned in couple that finishes each other’s sentences. You fall in love with their flaws, and not just at the beginning of the relationship, that famous ‘honeymoon phase’, but long after. Soulmates have an easier time accepting and even learning to love their partner’s imperfections. A soulmate relationship is also undeniably intense in both good and bad ways. Soulmates remain focused on resolving the problem and are less likely to hit communication barriers other relationships may face.

Soulmates often see their relationship as ‘us against the world’, in a protective sense, always showing a united front. Someone in a soulmate relationship feels supported and ready to take on any challenge or obstacle in life with their soulmate by their side. A soulmate never makes you feel insecure or unsupported. Soulmate relationships are defined by understanding and unity above all else. Their connection often has them calling or messaging each other almost simultaneously as the mental connection overcomes any physical boundaries or distance.

As cosmically connected as they sound, even soulmate-status relationships take work. The assumption that a soulmate relationship is effortless can be misleading and lead to unrealistic expectations and, inevitably, disappointment. Soulmates are not simply something you stumble across, but are created through a deliberate process underscored by clear and effective communication and mutual trust that develops when each person’s words match their behaviour over time. They are based on both partners vibrating at the same level of frequency in terms of mutual respect, and mutual caring. There is no one-way street to soulmate-status.

As mentioned, many experts agree that we have more than one soulmate. There is also more than one way a soulmate can come into our lives. That can be for a reason, a season or for a lifetime. It’s important to recognise this because once you know why a soulmate has come into your life, you can know what to expect from that connection and manage your expectations.  Remember the relationships that endure long after the expiration date? When you come across a soulmate for a reason, it’s usually to meet a need that has been expressed in your life.  That reason can be for guidance, assistance through difficult times, support, depth of conversations or simply as a rejuvenating presence for you physically, emotionally or spiritually.  A soulmate can last between just months or a lifetime, depending on the type of soulmate relationship it is.

Soulmates for a season come into our lives for a limited period of time.  They may serve as catalysts to share, grow and learn, or they may show up in a moment when we need to overcome our fears of vulnerability, or when we need someone to challenge our belief system. They can also be there to awaken a passion within when we start to stagnate. Regardless of the reason, these soulmates are not meant for enduring and long-lasting periods usually leaving once their work is done. That’s not to say there is an element of chemistry lacking in this soulmate connection, in fact the soulmates that enter our lives for a limited time, whatever that may be, can be explosively charged with emotions and desire to stoke the fire of our passion.

The soulmate that lasts a lifetime is the one most romanticised in popular culture and the one most relationships aspire to be like. They never run their course as long as both partners remain committed to its evolution. Every other soulmate and relationship that came into your life has prepared you for the lifetime soulmate. Now you’re ready to give all of yourself to this true love soulmate and you will use the knowledge and experience you gained from previous relationships to make this relationship work.