The Energy of Grief and how to Prevent Stagnation.

by in Energy, Healing, Mental Health and Well-being May 7, 2022

As we’ve discussed in previous posts on our bog, all beings are made up energy – including our thoughts and our emotions. Grief is a significant and unique energy which carries its own particular vibration. Amongst the lower vibrations such as jealousy, guilt, and fear, grief manifests in physical symptoms too since everything is connected between the mind, body and universe. People experiencing grief, especially after a loss report profound feelings such as a tightness in their chest, or a heaviness in their heart. Grief can result from experiences that result in the same emotions of sadness, despair, longing, regret and disappointment, even when we lose a home or a job or a friendship. Grief comes in many forms but the human energetic experience is similar across the spectrum.

The tangibly heavy energy of grief can weigh us down, causing us to feel depressed, sad and defeated. Despite our best efforts we can’t shift it alone nor should we. Grief is a normal human process, something we all go through. The goal of healing grief energetically shouldn’t be to ‘heal’ it, although we may use this word to describe the period of dealing with loss, since it’s a normal process. Like all human processes, grief is something we all go through, although everyone’s process looks different.  What is universally true is that however it is done we must allow the energy of grief to flow.  Sometimes when our emotions are strong, we want to shut them down, ignore them or distract ourselves.  It seems like we are afraid of them – afraid they can derail us or make us appear weak in a time we may need to be strong for others.  In reality, it is not only healthy, but crucial for us to allow the emotions of grief, and to lean into them.  We need to change the narrative and view the process of grief as a loving process that is required for our healing.  The timing of this process is different for everyone.  Some studies suggest that grief after a loss can take anywhere from three to eight years to heal. Others will tell you anecdotally that grief can never be fully healed. Again, it’s important to remember that grief looks different for everyone.

In the initial stages of a traumatic event or loss, it’s incredibly difficult to focus on anything but the pain.  Early on, our defence mechanisms will very likely be to find a way to distract, or numb ourselves, from such intense feelings.  But once the shock has subsided somewhat, and we’re seeing things a little more clearly, it’s important to heal ourselves from the grief energy that we’ve been holding onto. This is a very difficult process for a lot of people and takes a lot of emotional maturity and self-awareness to achieve. You may know someone in your life, or you yourself may be one of those people who avoid talking about their feelings, or don’t want to feel their feelings. Some people have gotten very good at bottling theirs up and not dealing with them at all. Time is a factor when dealing with pain, with time emotional pain will lessen, but it doesn’t heal. Only through feeling your feelings and releasing the grief energy, can we do that.

When we are being present with our grief, we pay attention to how it feels in our body.  Really being present with it, leaning into the physical sensations and not getting stuck in our minds.  Be kind with yourself, its normal to have moments where we feel stuck in the endless cycle of thoughts like, ‘why did this happen like this?’, or ‘what could we have done differently?’  Once we recognise and arrest this useless pattern, we need to consciously bring ourselves back to the present moment and just sit with the grief.  Letting the energy just flow and process through us.  Practice being a calm and loving observer with compassion. The energetic shift and healing will happen when we practice being a compassionate observer.

Energy healing when dealing with heavy vibrations such as grief should lean towards providing comfort and respite, since grief is a very heavy energy and can make us feel like we’ve physically run three marathons in a week. It beats us up mentally, emotionally and physically. The goal is keeping the wavelike energy of grief moving along and eventually out of our energetic field, making way for lighter energies that support positive emotions. Like all emotions, grief is meant to move through us, not get stuck in our energy field or our physical body.

We need to reframe our perception of grief as providing a powerful opportunity for spiritual growth. Supporting our spiritual growth in grieving is another valid goal of energy work when dealing with loss. A person who has experienced profound loss is often more compassionate to others. Their hearts are softened. We feel our connection to the rest of humanity in our own vulnerability and recognition of our fragility. In particular, we feel an open wound to the non-material world, that weeps and at the same time receives energy. We shed our superficial layers and reassess our lives and what is truly important to us. In this way, grief is transformative.

When feeling lost in the depths of grief, weighed down energetically, there are some strategies that can help alleviate some of the heaviness of the low vibration of grief. Getting up and getting dressed can absolutely feel like the last thing we want to do. If we have family helping us along the way, it doesn’t feel so intimidating a task, but if we are alone and the house is quiet, then it can really be challenging. We must keep the energy moving otherwise stagnation can set in and that’s not beneficial energetically.

Creativity moves energy in an upwards and forward motion. Revisiting old pictures, starting a scrapbook and making a nice collage can be sad but also healing. Crying helps ease the pain of loss and it always feels medicinal afterwards, as though a small space has opened up for a little more light to shine through. Seek out a healing therapist if your budget allows, the energy of grief can lodge in the physical body and anything we can do to move our bodies during this time can feel therapeutic. Booking yourself a massage, a Reiki session, or even a chiropractic adjustment can help move more than just the energy of grief out of our bodies, leaving us with a feeling of clarity, lightness, and hope about the future.

Foster connection and prioritise your social networks during this time. Staying connected to those that support and nourish you, protect you when you feel weakened or energetically destabilised, can make the days following loss a little more bearable. Your people know when to be quiet and sit with you, and when to hug you or give you your space. Your support network, your inner circle know that sometimes just being together watching movies, cooking for you and lending their presence can be the best medicine.

Connect with the ultimate universal healer, nature, the universal energy of our mother creator. Feeling in touch with a spiritual support system helps us accept the loss and understand there is more to life that we cannot fully comprehend. We look at nature and how everything has a season, how everything is at some stage of living or renewal, and we recognize we are a part of that larger process too. On a deeper level, we understand that no life is ever really gone. Nature can carry us to that realization, so putting ourselves out there in its healing energetic field is incredibly therapeutic. We’ve talked about grounding or earthing in pervious posts. The death of a loved one can be deeply unsettling. Grounding can be very steadying when we are feeling emotionally shaky. Studies show that just ten minutes walking or standing barefoot on grass or sand at the beach is enough to cause an energetic shift and recalibration. Bathing in the sea is also helpful as water is incredibly cleansing.

Grief can be overwhelming; it consumes us and we can’t escape it. We’re confronted by it as much on the brightest of days as on the darkest of nights. Meditating can help us gain some perspective, a little distance from the grieving. It can help us find some peace from within our heart centre.

Whatever your experience with grief is, remember that it’s a natural process that looks different for every situation and every soul. Energetically, there are some things we can do to keep a stagnation of energy forming longer than it needs to be there. Know that you are not alone in your grief, that we can draw on the wisdom and generational experiences of our ancestors. Feeling this spiritual connection to the wider world around us and its energies as a source of inspiration to keep moving forward and honouring our feelings is an essential part of dealing with the loss.

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